Welcome to 3-2-1 Tuesdays with Better Wellness Naturally-Loneliness and How We're Hardwired- Here’s Why It Matters
- Admin
- Apr 6
- 4 min read
Thank you for joining us for 3-2-1 Tuesdays!
Quick bits of therapeutic info and learning, ideas, concepts, and quotes.
Brought to you by Better Wellness Naturally
3: Keys
2: Concepts
1: Quick Article
“True belonging doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.”— Brené Brown
3 Keys
Noticing the Feeling of Loneliness
Loneliness is more than a passing emotion; it affects the body as well. That quiet ache of being unseen can activate stress pathways, influencing sleep, immunity, and overall function. Acknowledging the feeling without judgment is the first step toward responding with intention.
Recognizing True Belonging
Belonging isn’t about blending in—it’s about authenticity. When we’re able to show up as ourselves, the nervous system registers safety, which steadies emotions, lowers stress, and supports long-term health.
Small Steps Toward Connection
Connection doesn’t require sweeping gestures. Often it begins with a small act of honesty, kindness, or presence. These moments release neurochemicals that build resilience and strengthen both emotional and physical well-being.
A Couple of Concepts
Social Baseline Theory
Have you noticed how a simple conversation, a hug, or just being in the presence of a trusted friend can feel grounding? Social Baseline Theory suggests that our brains are wired to expect support from others. When we have trusted connections, our minds operate more efficiently, stress diminishes, and we feel safer exploring the world.
Belongingness Hypothesis
Belonging is more than a desire—it’s a fundamental human need. Psychologist Abraham Maslow highlighted that feeling truly seen and valued within a community is essential to our emotional health and resilience.
A Quick Overview: Loneliness and Belonging: More Than Just Feelings
Loneliness and belonging are more than emotional experiences—they are physiological realities, and a sense of belonging is as vital to physical wellness as it is to emotional balance. Research shows that chronic loneliness can impact heart health, immune function, and even gene expression. Conversely, a sense of belonging enhances emotional regulation, fortifies resilience, and contributes to overall well-being. For some of us, loneliness is literally sickening.
Knowing this, its worth asking why loneliness persists—even when we appear socially connected.
We’re social beings and interdependent as a species—even those who see themselves as introverts or loners understand this paradox. Yet how many of us continue to hide parts of ourselves to “fit in”? Or perhaps we have a plethora of social connections yet still feel isolated. Why? The short answer is twofold.
Authenticity vs. conformity — when we mute parts of ourselves to gain acceptance, the result is disconnection rather than genuine closeness.
Quantity vs. quality — even with many acquaintances, belonging is absent if the relationships lack depth and sincerity.
From an evolutionary perspective, we as humans developed in small, interdependent groups. Social exclusion could literally threaten our very survival, so our brains remain highly sensitive to acceptance and rejection. This explains why loneliness can feel so physically and emotionally intense: this “what if I die?” response is hardwired into us.
And this evolutionary inheritance underscores why signals of acknowledgment hold such a pronounced influence on human neurobiology.
Something that is also important to understand is that moments of authentic recognition, however brief, activate the brain’s reward pathways. In response, oxytocin and dopamine are released, thus creating physiological shifts that bring about comfort, trust, and connection. These neurochemical changes don’t just feel good in the moment; they set the stage for healthier patterns of relating over time. When our nervous system learns that openness is met with acknowledgment rather than dismissal, it becomes easier to risk vulnerability again. Once we can trust, we can bond.
Acknowledging and being acknowledged is not trivial—it tells our nervous system that we are safe and likewise, that we are safe with others. Over successive encounters, these acknowledgments crystallize into enduring connections that sustain well-being in both routine circumstances and challenging conditions. Through repetition, such moments consolidate into durable relational bonds that reinforce emotional regulation in daily contexts and during periods of adversity, promoting resilience that protects both psychological and physical well-being
Understanding this interplay between loneliness and belonging can help us approach relationships and community with authentic intention, knowing we are safeguarding not only our emotional well-being but also our functional health. By noticing where we feel unseen, seeking spaces of authenticity, and taking small steps toward connection, we support both our psychological needs and our capacity for deeper, more resilient human bonds and better wellness.
After the Shatter: The Liminal Space Retreat in 2026, which will be held in stateside, offers a safe, trauma-informed space to explore what it truly means to belong and connect. It’s a space to reflect, share, and nurture authentic relationships—not just with others, but with yourself. Through experiential therapy, somatic practices, and real work, this retreat supports deep, nervous system–friendly healing.
If this feels like something you might resonate with, consider joining us in this quiet, guided container for growth and reconnection.
May this week offer moments where you feel seen, understood, and truly at home in yourself.
References:
Baumeister, R.F., & Leary, M.R. (1995). The Need to Belong: Desire for Interpersonal Attachments as a Fundamental Human Motivation.
Cacioppo, J.T., & Patrick, W. (2008). Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection.
Maslow, A.H. (1943). A Theory of Human Motivation.
Lieberman, M.D. (2013). Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect.
Coan, J.A., & Sbarra, D.A. (2015). Social Baseline Theory: The Role of Social Relationships in Emotion Regulation and Health. Current Opinion in Psychology, 1, 1–6
We’d love to have you join us on retreat!
For more info and to Retreat with us: www.BetterWellnessRetreats.com
by Laura Weber Garrison, PhD
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