Welcome to 3-2-1 Tuesdays with Better Wellness Naturally- The Fear of Not Being Enough
- Admin
- Aug 5
- 4 min read
Thank you for joining us for 3-2-1 Tuesdays!
Quick bits of therapeutic info and learning, ideas, concepts, and quotes.
Brought to you by Better Wellness Naturally
3: Keys
2: Concepts
1: Quick Article
“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.” — Maya Angelou
3 Keys
You Already Matter: You don’t need a promotion, a degree, a bigger following, or someone’s validation to be worthy. Sometimes we chase achievements hoping they’ll finally make us feel “enough.” But what if you already are? Take a breath. You were born with worth and DO matter.
That Voice Isn’t Always Right: You know that pesky know-it-all inner critic? The one that says, “You’re falling behind,” or “You’re not good enough”? It’s not the voice of truth—it’s the voice of fear. Most of the time, it shows up when you’re about to grow. Know this:. You can feel doubt and still move forward.
Growth Doesn’t Mean You’re Broken: Wanting to change doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. We often think, “If I improve, maybe I’ll finally like myself.” But real growth happens when we say, “I can love who I am and still want to evolve.” One doesn’t cancel out the other.
A Couple of Concepts
Your Brain is Wired to Doubt You Sometimes: Ever wonder why it's easier to believe the bad stuff about yourself? Blame the brain’s negativity bias—a built-in survival instinct that makes us focus more on threats and flaws than strengths. It’s how our ancestors stayed alive (“Is that a tiger or a shadow?”).In today’s world, that bias can show up as self-doubt, overthinking, or second-guessing yourself. Knowing this helps you pause and say, “Wait, this might be just my brain being cautious—not a reflection of my truth.”
Validation Is Addictive—But Not Sustainable: Getting praise feels good. It lights up the reward centers in your brain, like a dopamine hit. But when we rely on external validation to feel worthy, it becomes a moving target.Real confidence grows from internal validation—when you acknowledge your own efforts, set boundaries, or celebrate your small wins, even if no one else sees them. It’s like planting roots instead of chasing balloons.
A Quick Overview: What If You Were Never Meant to “Earn” Your Worth?
We all carry some version of the same quiet fear: What if I’m not enough? It shows up in different ways—perfectionism, people-pleasing, imposter syndrome, overachieving, or even isolation.
This week’s 3-2-1 reminds us that self-worth isn’t a finish line we reach after proving ourselves—it’s a truth we return to. And when we understand how our brain can feed into self-doubt, or how we chase external validation for temporary reassurance, it becomes easier to notice the patterns and gently step out of them.
Here’s something fascinating: research shows that our brain reacts more intensely to negative thoughts than positive ones—a phenomenon called negativity bias. That’s why one critical comment can stay with us longer than ten compliments. On top of that, dopamine (the brain’s “feel-good” chemical) spikes when we receive social approval, making likes, praise, or attention feel addictive. But internal validation—like affirming ourselves, honoring our values, or finishing something important—builds long-term resilience and confidence. So, the science actually backs what we already intrinsically know: real self-worth starts from within.
So, here’s your gentle reminder: you’re not behind. You’re not broken. And you’re definitely not alone in this feeling. Start noticing the moments when you try to “earn” love or worth—and ask yourself, “What if I already am enough?” Growth is beautiful. Please don’t let it trick you into believing you need to become someone else first.
You really are allowed to be a work in progress and already worthy of peace, love, rest, and joy—right now.
References:
Baumeister, R. F., et al. (2001). Bad is stronger than good. Review of General Psychology, 5(4), 323–370.
Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.
Eisenberger, N. I., & Lieberman, M. D. (2004). Why it hurts to be left out: The neurocognitive overlap between physical and social pain. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 8(7), 294–300.
American Psychological Association (APA). Imposter syndrome. Retrieved from www.apa.org
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