Welcome to 3-2-1 Tuesdays with Better Wellness Naturally- Chasing Happiness vs. Creating Peace
- Admin
- Jun 9
- 5 min read
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Quick bits of therapeutic info and learning, ideas, concepts, and quotes.
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3: Keys
2: Concepts
1: Quick Article
"Happiness is fleeting when chased, but peace is lasting when created."
— Anonymous
3 Keys
Chasing happiness feels like running after a moving target: You get the promotion, the trip, the new relationship... and for a while, it's amazing. But soon, the excitement fades and you're already chasing the next "thing." It’s exhausting, right? Happiness, when chased, often feels temporary because it's tied to moments or achievements that are always shifting.
Creating peace is about building something steady inside you: Instead of sprinting after the next good feeling, creating peace means making your inside world safe and steady. It's like planting a garden instead of chasing butterflies. Even when life throws storms your way, you still have your roots. Peace grows from practices like acceptance, gratitude, mindfulness, and letting go of constant comparison.
When you have peace, happiness happens naturally: Here’s the twist: when you focus on creating peace, happiness shows up without you forcing it. It's quieter but deeper. You're not dependent on things going perfectly. Even simple moments—a good cup of tea, a walk outside—start to feel enough. Isn't that what we're really after?
A Couple of Concepts
The Hedonic Treadmill: One of the core concepts that explains why chasing happiness can feel so frustrating is the hedonic treadmill theory. It suggests that we adapt quickly to changes in our lives, meaning that the joy from external achievements fades over time, pushing us to seek new sources of happiness. This constant pursuit can leave us feeling exhausted and unsatisfied.
The Paradox of Pursuit: It might sound strange, but the more we chase something, the further away it can seem. This is true not only with happiness but also with peace. The paradox is that the very act of striving for peace—when we push for perfection, control, or constant improvement—can actually keep us from finding it. Studies show that attachment to specific outcomes or expectations increases stress, leaving us feeling more anxious. By letting go of rigid goals and embracing what is, we unlock a deeper sense of peace. It’s in releasing the need to “arrive” that we start to truly be.
A Quick Overview
We all want happiness. It’s a basic human desire — something we’re naturally wired for. Yet, in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, happiness often feels like something we need to chase after. We’re taught that it will be unlocked once we reach certain milestones: the perfect career, the dream relationship, the ideal vacation. But soon after achieving one goal, another pops up, and the cycle starts again. This never-ending chase can leave us feeling drained, anxious, and more often than not, unfulfilled.
But what if there’s another way? What if, instead of endlessly pursuing happiness, we focused on creating something deeper, something more lasting — something that doesn’t fade when the next goal is reached or the excitement wears off? That something is peace.
Creating peace starts with acceptance — the realization that life won’t always go as planned and that perfection isn’t attainable. Embracing imperfections allows us to release unrealistic expectations, helping us find a deeper sense of calm. Research shows that self-compassion and acceptance improve our ability to handle stress and bounce back from setbacks (Neff, 2003). Mindfulness, too, plays a key role in this process. By staying present and non-judgmental, we can reduce emotional reactivity and better manage stress (Kabat-Zinn, 1990). When we focus on being present rather than perfect, we build a more stable, lasting peace.
Peace also has a powerful impact on the brain. Studies show that mindfulness practices can increase gray matter in areas related to emotional regulation, learning, and memory. On top of that, cultivating peace helps lower cortisol levels, the stress hormone, which can reduce the physical damage caused by chronic stress and promote better overall health. By shifting our focus from chasing happiness to creating peace, we improve both our emotional and physical well-being.
The beauty of peace is that it naturally leads to happiness — not the fleeting kind tied to external achievements, but a deeper, more lasting contentment. Research in positive psychology suggests that those who focus on peace and gratitude experience higher levels of happiness, regardless of their external circumstances. When we create peace within ourselves, we begin to appreciate the simple, joyful moments — a conversation with a friend, the warmth of the sun, or the quiet of an evening at home. These moments become sources of happiness, not because they are perfect, but because we’ve learned to be at peace with them.
The endless pursuit of happiness can leave us feeling burnt out. But by focusing on cultivating peace, we tap into a more sustainable form of happiness. Science shows that peace enhances our emotional resilience and promotes better health.
Instead of chasing happiness, choose to create peace within — and happiness will naturally follow.
References:
Hölzel, B. K., et al. (2011). "Mindfulness practice leads to increases in regional brain gray matter density." Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging, 191(1), 36-43.
Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness. Delacorte Press.
Neff, K. D. (2003). "The development and validation of a scale to measure self-compassion." Self and Identity, 2(3), 223-250.
Pascoe, M. C., et al. (2017). "Mindfulness meditation and the improvement of mental health in non-clinical populations: A meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials." Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 97, 41-52.
Seligman, M. E. P. (2011). Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being. Free Press.
Brickman, P., & Campbell, D. T. (1971). Hedonic relativism and planning the good society. In M. H. Appley (Ed.), Adaptation-level theory (pp. 287–302). Academic Press.
Sheldon, K. M., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2006). Achieving sustainable gains in happiness: Change your actions, not your circumstances. Journal of Happiness Studies, 7(1), 55-86
Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). The "What" and "Why" of Goal Pursuits: Human Needs and the Self-Determination of Behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227-268.
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